She's Always Watching

In so many ways, my children make me want to be a better person. Of course I want to be a good mother.  I try so hard to say the right things and explain things fully in 4 year old speak, when Charli asks questions.  She says she wants to understand everything, and who am I to say she can't.  I try to help her navigate the world, but not too much.  I try to have the healthiest foods in the house and have the family eat them together.  I try to mean what I say and follow through on promises (and threats).  But, it goes deeper than that and sometimes it amazes me how much she is watching, paying attention, and learning from my every move.  Just this morning, I came in from a run and I am kneeling next to the shelf where we place our shoes when we enter the house.  I see in Charlotte's little shoes, her socks.  Each one in a ball in a pair of her shoes.  This is not something she does usually, and this is not something we usually do as a family.  Shoes go by the door and socks go in the hamper.  But, I realize that her shoes were next to my sneakers this morning.  I had placed my socks in my sneaks last night in anticipation for my run this morning.  (I have to get ready in the living room, but that is another topic about light sleeping children.)  Anyway, it hits me how much she is watching me when I am not paying attention.  It is yet another wake up call, that I need to be the best person I can be, so I can help my children be the best people they can be.  No pressure.

Yoga and Kindergarten

Brooke and I finally made it to a mommy and me yoga class.  I used to go to this class every week with Charlotte till she went to preschool.  Since then, I have been trying and failing to get out of the house in time to get Charli to school and across the city by 9 am to take this class.  We had such a nice time, I am going to have to try very hard to get there again next week.  I love the moments where I can slow down and actually spend time playing with, watching, and enjoying Brooke.  These moments are sadly rare.  We are always running around with our "have to do"s.  Today, I was able to take deep breaths in my yoga poses while watching Brooke explore and conquer the play space.  Her new favorite word is "no" and so I heard that lots today.  She is a full fledged toddler now and has the toddler creed down pat (what's yours is mine, what's mine is mine, if I see it its mine...)  She has learned to defend her turf and doesn't back down (thanks to Charlotte).  She is working on sharing and turn taking.  She is a sweet soul and Jeff and I are convinced that pretty much everything she does is adorable.  She loves to say hi to everyone we pass by on the street, she will hug random people whenever the whim strikes, she points out every ball and bird within a 20 mile radius, and she really wants to do everything her big sister does. (like spit toothpaste, twirl around in dresses, turn cartwheels, and draw with markers).

Today was also the day I officially signed Charlotte up for Kindergarten.  We have been on the fence about sending her.  The school district is in the middle of changing the birthday cut-off for K to line up with private school and to take new research into account.  Charlotte makes the cutoff currently and will for the next few years, while they slowly roll the ages back.  Eventually, she will miss the cut-off by two weeks.  We think she is ready now and will be fine, but we are worried about the tween years especialy. I just hope we are making the right choices for her life and future.  The parenting thing is a lot of pressure sometimes.